by ANDREA LEGGETT
One part of youth sports that doesn’t get talked about enough is the way one child’s participation affects the other children in the family. Practices in the evening, early morning games (and all day tournaments), traveling to events, and the overall amount of energy that goes toward this commitment can be draining for everyone, but especially the athlete’s siblings.
Siblings are likely attending games and tournaments which, at minimum, requires sitting and watching for an extended period of time an event they might not be too interested in. They may have to adjust to their siblings’ sports-related activities taking priority over their own social lives and interests. Parents’ attention is probably, at times, focused more on the young athlete if they’re practicing new skills at home or prepping for events. Perhaps the athlete receives a lot of praise and attention from other family members and friends, too.
What can you do?
How can families address this concern? Here are a few ideas.
- Connect with the sibling to see if they have any particular interests that can be nurtured the way a sport is. It might be another sport, or a club, or even just a hobby that they feel passionate about. Research if there are any groups in your area that your child can get involved with, if they want to. If they don’t want to, but do have interests or hobbies that they want to explore more, set aside time with them where their “thing” is the focus.
- Ask them what they need to make the events more exciting. This is a time for them to maybe play on their iPad or Switch, read a book, or color. This may not feel like a good idea initially because you want them to cheer for their sibling, but…
- Don’t force them to be excited or interested. Kids, like adults, have their own preferences. Try modeling for them how to show interest and be enthusiastic, but allow them their own space and feelings. Resist the urge to “should” them and remember–if you have force them to show interest or be excited, is it even worth it? It’s not genuine.
- Make it a family event! Get matching t-shirts (maybe allow the non-athlete to help design a customized one), make a family playlist with their input, bring special food that they pick out… involve the sibling in a way that helps them realize how important they are to the event, even if they aren’t playing.
Has this ever come up in your family? What ways do you handle it?
